Drunk off eachother til, nothin but the sun rise

I love you.

I see you and my stomach does flips. Even with a look in my eyes my world turns upside down. I love you're aroma I love being so close to you, the world stops whenever I am with you. When I saw you standing there it was breathtaking. I wanted to capture that moment and never forget, and i don't think I can. I swear I could just look at you and my life would just be complete. I don't know how else to express this. I love you. I haven't had this feeling of refreshment in decades. But I feel like its goin to be taken from me all too fast. I just want to be by your side. I want to be yours forever. I don't want to have you disappear for months and I don't know how I am gonna handle this. It hurts. Its tearing me apart from the inside out. I don't want to lose you, this feeling of completeness and it scares the living hell out of me because I have never felt this way before. Complete, and that all together scares me. How am I gonna handle life when you're not around for the next 6 months to a year. I worry you're gonna go off to war and die, and that scares me even more. Not only would you be gone in a foreign country, you'd be gone forever. And I don't want that. I get you want to protect the nation and do something thats honorable thats so great and i am so proud of you but it eats at me knowing that you could be taken away in an instant second. I love you and the rush of emotions inside is making me stir and and act unusual, but then you can take the pain away by just a smirk and and a stare in my eyes. The way you're eyes crinkle when you smile, the way you kiss my hand, the way that you and i share secret smiles n everything when no one else is watching takes the searing pain away. I don't want to lose you. But I fear all good things come to an end.

Its really good to hear your voice, saying my name it sounds so sweet!

I like voicemails. I like the fact that you can save them and listen to them on repeat daily as if they were just sent. Would I do that? Well maybe sure. Okay yes, yes I would. Now tell me how you kiddlings would feel about an adult prom? Yes adult prom. I am so envious of all these kiddies trying on dresses going to prom while mine sits in the closet and is tortured because I can't wear it. Ug. Its going down. This adult prom. I am stoked.

Its almost february. That means only eight more weeks till April. Eight more weeks till the love that i am longing for. Anyways this blog had no point. Just to say that by golly the packers are going to the superbowl, I am planning an adult prom, I have a sinus infection linked with an upper respiritory infection. Dinners with Vinny's family is kinda soothing yet hurts at the same time, and also i miss my crotches these days. I like this feeling of soberity though. I feel stronger healthier and less angered. anyways. I can't wait to start going to a gym and working out. Plenty of my aggression shall be worked out. How great will that be. Now, sweet dreams are made of these.

xoxo,
Madame Mediocre

I miss you so much my liver hurts

I swear sometimes I have the genetic makeup of an alcholic. No scratch that, I probably could be if I am not careful. I turn to booze when things hurt, and I just feel i can't handle things always because I get overstressed about everything. Maybe its not even stress...I know madame shouldn't whine, but realize that madame has her feminine time, and its making her even more utterly crazy than the norm. I feel everything that could possibly stress me out is making my eyelashes fall out ( :( ) which for everyone who knows me is a terrrible thing because I love Mascrea more than any other make up on the planet. ANYWAYS. My face is broken out, my body is aching, sinuses are to the point they are so bad that blood is flowing when i blow them, I feel rundown and just utterly lowsy. I feel that the winter weather doesn't help my condition any...The lack of sunlight in my life just downright sucks. The fact that I am also turning more pale than a vampire just downright is the lamest thing also.

Did I tell you wonderous readers I am dating someone new? Alright, as for you that are probably shaking your head at Madame's boy ADD, I feel I can explain why I relationship swapped this time, for I feel will be the last until something good happens or another masacre occurs. The 1st since the sire incident was a rebound, as harsh as that sounds... the next was me trying to fullfill my want of dating a so called bad boy and that didn't end well due to the fact there was too much cling, partying and so on and so forth, and now there is this one. I am going to just call him Vinny because he looks like Vinny from the ridiculous Jersey Shore. Vinny and I share the oddest bond ever. From the moment I met him it was instant attraction. Maybe its the fact that he has all the qualities I normally go for in male specimen... ( Dark hair, nice physique, pretty teeth and some facial hair) Vinny (both Jersey shore and my own :P) are that to a T. Not only the look thing, but we both make mixes of cds from varying through any sort of music depending on the mood we are in, both are movie buffs, kinda gaming nerds, enjoys X-men, never really like hurting people (though we both have and did in the process), love for John Cena haha, we are both fairly competitive, and are really goofy. He was the only guy on the planet that has ever serenaded me, opened car doors and doors in general for me, doesn't treat me like a piece of meat, doesn't get jealous over guy friends no matter how many I seem to have, isn't afraid to just be affectionate in public (though some may find that overbearing, I find it slightly sweet) and he wants me to be close to his family. Vinny though, decided it would be a good thing to sign up for the Army and go away to Georgia for 3 months.... As proud of I am for him wanting to make his dreams and stuff come true, part of me, the selfish skankbag just wants him here...The month we did get to spend together didn't seem like a month even at all....More like a week. And as odd and wrong as this is going to sound...I can picture a happily ever after with him. Please don't read this thinking, "Has madame gone bonkers?" because for 1. We all realize I have always been a little off my rocker, 2. I know what I want and I am not going to give it up for some stupid distance or anything 3. I have never felt so comforted yet have so many butterflies at the same time, it's like a good balence of eachother. So now I sit and count the days until he comes home, waiting, trying to occupy my time by working and school, and lately the dumb thing of drinking. I miss you so much my liver hurts...Just because I did the dumb thing of coping with the booze. I feel like I can't talk about how bad it hurts that you aren't around because that makes me sound weak and like some sort of basketcase because we haven't been together that long, but you told me you loved me and the feeling is mutual. I don't want to rush into things...And at this point I really can't because you aren't even here. It hurts watching happy couples being all sweet with there affectionate hugs and kisses, making me long for yours even more....I feel like we just have some odd universal understanding that no one else can get but you and I and without you here it just sucks. I realize people are here for me but it doesn't fill the void of where you are suppose to be. This wouldn't suck as much if we could communicate. I realize I can write and will be writing...And I hope that he knows those letters will be read everysingle night until he gets back. I am one lovesick puppy with a wounded heart. I just wish he was here to take the edge off the rest of the stress with school, work, friends, family, ect... I realize others may try, but its not the same it's not what I want and for that I feel like a bad person because whomever tries to make me happy, it only goes so far.

I need an outlet. A healthier one obbbbviously. Starting Friday I am going to start running. Get in shape so I can blow everyones minds! I just wish that I could change so manythings at once, but realize I have to take one friggin step at a time. Until then. Happy New Years... And I hope everyone is sticking to thier resolutions like I am trying to haha.

We're gonna break in the new year the right way

What a year.

School. A massacre of all breakups that suck the life out of you until NOW. It's time. It's time for change and its time to move on and do something. So for the New year I want several a thangs. How about some resolutions to issues.

1) I want to do better in school. I switched my program to go into Human Services which is kinda exciting.
2) Get a second job waitressing like 3 nights a week along with maintain the same shitty shifts at the place that i love to hate...Pick n Slave.
3) I don't want to drink as much. Social drinking fine, but drinking to the point of disgustingness and drunkenness.
4) Stay in this relationship even though he's gonna be gone for ages, but letters and stuff are sweet and I like him way alot and I like that things are the way they are and i like him. :) I can have an attention span for someone that plays me the backstreet boys, loves Megan Fox and enjoys Seann William Scott. Not only that.... He's got rock hard abs and a perfect smile.. I think I have died and gone to heaven.
5) I need to work out. I need to go to a gym and get this flab into nice ab?? Yeah I tried to rhyme but that didn't work.
6) Try not to take things so personally.
7) Move out by the summer.
8) Manage my time way more wisely.
9) Go out of state for a week-a weekend
10) Just try to keep a positive attitude, even when things look down.

Yup Yay for new Years and yay for change.

Swallow my doubt...Turn it inside out.

I'm confused. i don't really know what else to say. I am just legit confused about things. I don't know if its worth it to stay with someone who...is so selfish? Maybe selfish isn't the right word...I can't please everyone all the time. Though I wish i totally could i can't. It sucks. Maybe we've spent too much time together lately. Maybe I feel like you take advantage of me in ways. I mean you guilt trip me because i can't spend every waking second with you...I mean that kinda makes me feel mega smothered. I like the attention sure, but its not the kinda attention I like. I don't like that you made me cry twice in one day. I don't like fact that he thinks I am some kind of mircale given to him to help him outta his rut...I can't. I don't feel like that great person you described me as I really kinda hate it. It makes me feel like I am some unreal person. I don't think I am that great. I am just meeeee.... He calls me beautiful and stuff alot and I just ugh I don't know...I am way too annoyed right now. I am sick of partying. I am sick of drinking. I am sick of becoming a dragon, i am sick of thinking about you right now. Its confusing me. I don't like feeling pressured that I am the one thats gonna turn your life around. I am so confused

We are who we are

I hate days like today. I hated thinking about the sire days today and having flashbacks in my head. It made me slightly queesy and uneasy thinking about it. Thinkinga bout it makes me feel like I lost who that person was. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. It just kinda is odd knowing I am not the same girl I was in July, like the world has shifted and pangea fell apart. Not saying I don't know who I am anymore, just saying that its odd because I have doing certain things that are quite outta character to who I once was...If that even makes any sense at all.

Sometimes I wonder if he ever looked into my baby blue eyes n asked him did I just father the most insignificant asshole of the twenty-first century?

I'm cranky. No cranky is an understatement. I am downright just pissed off. This will be a massive tangent about work. And for that I apologize, I mean really who wants to hear about deli drama at a grocery store? I work my ass off. No literally, I run around that deli like its a track, a triathalon is a better way to put it. I do things that others can't and am as close to full time as one could get. I make sandwhiches and all the crappy little things that need to be put out for hungry customers. Then after a long day of working and staying another half hour over my scheduled time, I get poked at. "Madame is slow and needs to make sandwhiches a little faster." "Do ya see how she cuts the bread so unevenely?" Massive giggles in the breakroom erupt and i stare in silence wondering wtf i did to deserve that kind of remark. Granted they were just poking fun. BUT it's not fun. I ask for a raise get laughed at, and deal with sooo much shit that others wouldn't dream of putting up with back there. So I told my laughing manager she can do the island stuff from now on since I am not up to her standards and then said but it may require waiting on people... And she gave me the same look i had when she was giggling. She doesn't do anything. Pretty sure she could be partially unalive for how much she actually contributes. WOOPIE she can order, pretty sure if I was taught legitimately I could do her job. I hate that place. I hate it more than anything. EVER.


I hate this unsettled feeling of what's right and wrong and what I need and what I don't. I wish I could just go up to a counter and order what kinda guy I would like, and within five minutes *DING* your orders ready. It's not that I'm not happy with what I have now...He's sweet, and likes football and playing guitar, and writing songs (one about me which pretty much makes a girl weak in the knees) he's smart and knows what he wants...Which is pretty sexy. Then I am all hung up on the ex we'll call him tiger just for old time sake. He's just security, with a shmexy bod and beautiful sideburns, he makes me laugh, I can be 100% myself with him, sometimes though i felt like there wasn't always a spark but there is obviously something since I am drawn to him, but not only that, there is a huge history there. He wants me to open up and talk to him about some things and I don't know how to. Basically it goes is it ever gonna happen or isn't it? And if it is are the relationships we are in worth hurting? I don't know. I can't gurentee that. Besides right now i like this other guy a lot because it's simple and not complicated and I need that. I need the feeling of a vacation he gives me and makes feel wanted, i love that feeling. And with the tiger I'm not really wanted, more or less I feel like a side project and I dislike that feeling.

Uneasy.

I dunno where to even start or how this even started. Maybe it started from the moment I kissed you in a kitchen, or the moment we slow danced to stairway to heaven by led zepplin. Maybe it was the moment we fell in and outta love or the moment you....deflowered me. I don't really know when it started or why, I just know that i laid eyes on you and I have always felt something. No mater if we were broken up or together, I turn to you every single step of the way. You have always been my support system, my best friend and my lover turned in to one beautiful individual. Even now we turn to eachother for that support. Even after the numerous times I broke your heart your still there for me. Why? I have never seen so much drive in one person. It baffles me you stilll have some fight in you for me. It actually makes me feel loved more than before. And I am sorry. SO sorry I hurt you. I was merely a tiny child unsure of her wants and her desires and had you and lost you. 2-3 years have gone by and yet we still play this game. Why? Is it fate? And why am I the last to know.

Our differences make this beautiful

I like you. No really, I legitimately have some sort of obsession with you. I don't know why or how this happened, but it's strange with how comforting you really are starting to make me feel. After the battered torn feelings I used to have about the ex, you are actually starting to make me feel alive, and something again. Opposite as we are, I like you. And I hope that's okay! I don't really have any expectations of you which is nice. I like that you say sweet things and make my heart skip. You scare me ad excite me all at the same time and I get a rush everytime your lips happen to caress mine. I dunno how long it will last, or really care at this point but right now you are everything I need and want. I like how you tower over me, and how you kiss inches of my skin just to be sweet. I like that you don't mind that I am busy and don't care who I talk to. This whole thing is unreal and I like where its headed...

The homecoming from hell

I wish I could be more excited to see the crotches, but i just can't be. The fact they are coming home on the weekend that has to be the same weekend that has to be the person that i dislike more than any other person's birthday weekend. Why this weekend? Why didn't you come home for mine? Why don't you see that it sucks way alot that you come home for this girl's who hasn't been there like I have for you. I understand yes, you will be friends with her because you were since highschool, but the things that that girl has said about me and you haven't defended me is way wrong. And the fact that you defend her when I start saying something bad sucks. It is the biggest double standard known to man and if I have to hear one more time that this weekend is just an effing coinsidence...I may slaughter the shit outta you. You both disappear from my life for months then don't come home for my 21 but you come home for hers. Wow. Great. I wish i could be excited to see you both but to be honest I am dreading it in ways. I don't wanna think about the reason you are here, granted I know I am not your main reason for your homecoming but honestly why her? I feel like our friendships are being ripped apart at the seams...I hate it. I hate that I don't want to tell them anything that is happening in my life anymore. Either because I know that one will get judgy and the other just doesn't give a damn.
I just ugh i don't want to deal.

And she invited sire to her birthday...He may go. Wtf is this world coming to?

Wino alert

Wine+ Homework= the best times ever.

I saw sire. It sucked. As whomever you are who reads this to him over the phone let him know he sucks still and is a selfish little bunny. It was awkward and painful like being a virgin again. ha.

I dunno what to blog about.

I am sick of being this awesome good kid that does homework and doesn't hang out with anyone well except her fie and reeses but other than that i hate the fact that I haven't stepped foot in to a bar scene in weeeks. And i have only been 21 for a month and 2 days i feel this is a crime that is being commited. Sorry this blog sucks...I have fricken homework to do.

I missed you, until you yelled at me.

So i decided to text sire. It wasn't even that horrible. Like we joked about baby bunz and who gets custody since the divorce, and what not and it was generally silly. We caught up and asked eachother what's new. I told him about that naughty thing that happened that smelt like blueberry muffins, told him about my birthday party, and that I was hanging out with my dearest Deli employee at the time. He told me about his obsession with crappy girlie music which obviously hasn't changed, the doctor, and that he tinted his windows. All seemed to be going so well like we started a new chapter in our lives. Until this morning?!

Sire: Do you think I am stupid?
Me:lol like with knowledge or how?

Sire: I know you weren't the fucking one texting me last night from the get go, it didn't even sound remotely like you like you so wtf you just have ppl throw shit in my face...Oh they buy me drinks Jesus you are funny.
Me: I was the one texting though... Why are you getting mad. And why exactly didn't it sound like me? I am so lost.

Sire: Everything you sent was passive aggressive shit trying to fuck with my head head so just fucking lay off...

At this point i am mega confused so i decide I am going to call to try to get him to settle and realize I was the one texting him. Not anybody else!?

Sire: I would have been fine if it was you , but it wasn't, it didn't even sound close to you.

Sire:I'm at work, so seriously idc if you smoke or get drinks bought for you, I care that you think it is funny to have people rub it in my face.

Me:IT WAS ME! and what did you expect outta me sire, do you want me to sit around crying all the time or do you want me to do stuff and have fun?!

Sire: No! I do not want you to go on crying anymore. I want you to have fun. Seriously it is but just don't expect me to be fucking blind when you throw shit in my face. Uk what though it doesn't even matter so who cares.

Me:I was the one talking to you I swear sire. You can call the deli employee and ask her. I know you don't care! You asked me what was new so i told you and now you are flippin out and i have no idea why.

Sire: I am flipping out because it seemed like i was talking to someone completely different and I didn't like it.

Me: Sire the last madame you talked to was either your girlfriend or I was yelling. What do you expect? And I am sorry if it seemed like i was throwing shit in your face it really wasn't intened and I can leave you alone, but like i told you last night I misseed talking with ya, weird, bad or indifferent that is just how it is.

Sire: Everything is fine, and like usual you win.

Me:Obviously its not fine if you are upset, and what is there to win at this point?!

Sire: I am done being upset.

Me: If you say so sire.

Sire: Sorry, believe it or not i am quite stable and i am happy. It seemed like you were trying to piss me off.

Me:Why would i do that???

Sire: Cause I broke up with you and ex's have vengeance.

Me:Really? Hm maybe other do but i was trying to just be cool calm and collective and talk to you like idk say a human.

The phone rings. And i hear his voice. Strange. Hm. Well we got it cleared up. And he is still insane and claims he never freaks out. Yeah right dudeman. Maybe we are on some kinda track to be friends but I have no idea. Clearly the opposite sex is still craaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzy.

Downward Spiral.

It hit. The downward spiral that I have been dreading. Its hit and I don't like it. I gotta deal. I gotta cope, but is this a way of coping. Doing a thing that I didn't think I would evereverever do. That's not coping that's just stupid. I think after the spiral stops, I may find a grasp on my life. But for now I can't get that yet. Its like falling down the rabbit hole..... And not being able to climb out just yet, because the fall is soo sooo soo soo deep. Ahh... Yes.

21

I am going to turn twenty one in exactly 15 days. Thats two weeks and one day. Is that epic or what? I feel in ways it is. Maybe I won't feel like the youngin in the crowd anymore. Maybe I will become a bar hopper, join leagues and play fun games. Maybe I will meet someone amazing at a bar. Scratch that that. You can't meet anyone at a bar because the wise man told me that "Bars are to pick up chicks and bring them home and have sex with them, and don't be suprised if you happen to be a target at bars." Well I don't really want to be a target. I'm not into the promiscuity thing. Well the sober me isn't anyway, and the drunk me has contained its self a bit.

What else can I tell you about my life. I'm still mourning my loss of the dead bunny. Hahaha, at least when i type that now i chuckle instead of feeling the pain stake through my insides. Some days are good days I swear this time I don't even make it up. But other days, I wish i could erase the pain...Or at least know what is in store for the future...Will there be someone else? Well yeah i probably will move on, but I don't know what to look for in someone. Haha someone driven that isn't so antisocial that has some sort of self worth and maybe isn't so toxic? That would be a good start. Other than that what do I need to look for in someone... I don't even know where to start. Or better yet when to start. Boys like me now, but I don't know if i like them or i like the idea of them more than i like them if that makes sense. My feelings are synthetic. Like i said the idea is nice but the thought of being commited is gross har har. Maybe someday right?

Baby my hair is brown brown brown brown brown...Beeeroooowwwn! (Jason Deroulo would be so proud of my attempt to sound like him)

So I dyed my hair. Kinda to get that whole thing gone to start over does that make sense? Let madame try to explain... Someone that used to tell you they love your hair and love the smell of it you want it gone. You want to burn the memory of it out by changing the color and reinvent yourself to try to start over. I am not completely sure if my method works, but it makes me look semi megan foxy and badass knowing that its not the same hair that was once sniffed by a former sire. Knowing that its not the same hair relieves me slightly.


So its brown.

And the Bunny got away.

It hurts today. I thought I was doing a little bit better after the get away yesterday. Apparently being home completely alone without even the dog to keep me company isn't going to help me. I pick apart my brain trying to hold on to every last memory. I then pick the memory apart trying to see if there is something in it that would have gotten me to this point. Yuck I am whining again. I hate whining. I hate that that stupid boy is making me whine. Why am I holding on to something so tightly? I really need to just let it go. Sire doesn't want me. End of story. Though there are factors that are involved to that. He just doesn't. Plain and Simple. And that hurts. Sure other people may want me, but the only one that I want right now doesn't want me. Gr. I need to get off the computer. I came on to attempt making a peppy cd to show that life isn't gonna stop, which it isn't. It's a grieving process. Like someone died.

I maybe a new born vampire.

So this week was shitty. Well, okay maybe not completely shitty but still shitty. Getting broken up with, getting yelled at work constantly because well I think i find ways just to piss them off now (that's my fault haha), and to top it off this random cold that popped outta nowhere. It's a burning sensation thats constantly happening and whenever i eat or drink human food my throat aches craving more...So in conclusion, I Madame Mediocre am a vampire. Minus the striking good looks along with the grace of an angel.

Alright. I'm gonna let you in on something. I wanna talk to sire. Not talk about the break up or anything. I would rather talk about football or something. I just want to talk to him. I realize that's slightly insane and I shouldn't yet, but gosh cutting off someone you talked to for a year straight every single day....YIKES. So we're not together..Yes that happens, I was told that would happen in like health class or who knows, but he was like my best friend also and I can't loathe the guy. Okay yes I can and I do for the whole hearbreak thing, but I don't in ways because we were so close once before, and in some strange way I feel like we need to be friends. Wow that sounds nuts. Maybe i should shut my gob. I feel thats a good idea. I'm glad everyone has been super supportive of my loss? Or maybe its a gain? who knows just yet.

well, sleep is a good call. <--thats another thing that i can do that most vamps can't.
love madame mediocre

I really hate changing my realtionship status on facebook.

I have the Avenged Sevenfold cranked.

I have anger and pain in every inch of my insides. I hate feeling sorry for myself. I hate feeling that I thouht we were meant to be. I hate that you can't pick yourself up to be what not only I feel but others no the potential you have. I hate knowing that your probably smoking at least a pack of cigarettes trying to cope your feelings. I hate knowing that I won't be able to recieve good morning texts anymore. I hate the fact that when i close my eyes i can see your face just starring down at mine in that little smile the smile where i felt nothing could ever go wrong. I hate knowing that i care about you more than anyother person i have ever cared about. I hate knowing that you probably won't change, and that your probably right about us. I loved you. I still do love you. I hate this. I want this to all go away like nothing happend. It kills knowing you wouldn't fight, and you won't because you think it's really what's best for me. I miss you. I miss your touch i miss how you attempt to hide things from me but I could always tell, I miss your laugh. I miss everything. I miss that I can't say goodbye, and I can't tell your family I love them. I hate this. It feels like right at this very second i can feel you looking at your phone, sighing while just taking another puff on your cigarette. I'm sorry that I have high expectations and wanted something you couldn't give me now. I just want you to hate me. TO be completely honest i would rather have it that way then hearing those words " Yes i love you but, for you this is for you You need to move on you need to live and i can't hold you back anymore." Why can't you hate me, have done something like idk cheated on me to make this easier sire? I guess. I love you. That's all i really know. I know i can't picture my life without you I can't picture you with anyone else. I can't do this not now. I wish you could just see my side...But you can't and I guess thats okay... Well actually its not haha, but it will get better. Someday i will be able to look at those old pictures and just remember all the good times. Someday I will be able to face you. Someday. But not today. For now and fro awhile I don't think I can talk to you. I want you vanished out until the sting is gone. I want the best for you sire i hope you never think that i wouldn't but right now i hope you know what you are doing.

"Left this life to set me free, took a piece of you inside of me. All this hurt can finally fade, promise me you'll never be afraid. I hope you'll find your own way when I'm not with you tonight."

I love you. Goodbye.

That don't impress me much

I hate one uppers. I hate them. Clearly yes their lives may be better than mine due to certain extravagant things they own...But really. Wow. They drive me nuts. NUTS I TELL YOU. I hate also how people think they know everything, that thier thoughts out rule everyone elses and that they are like Gods gift to the planet. I dislike people. Now is that a problem? Well i suppose. BUT oh well. Madame why are your emotions and thoughts like a roller coaster all the time??
Because. I said so.

AND you can't disagree because, hah i only kid readers.

2 day suspensions are once in a life time opportunities to make magic happen...Or to just lay outside and soak up the rays. BUT if i was like the person above lets call them the Canadian, I could have taken a road trip, gotten a tattoo, impregnated a stripper named Lavern in Austrailia and made it home by say... 12 p.m. Ugh. No what else i hate? When your texting someone and they just disappear for like 24 hours for no explaination. Thats also very errking. So like Shania, That don't impress me much..(Ohh Ohh Ohh).

Oh and i dislike snitches and dislike pns. That is all
But I like that you read this, and like that you probably want to argue with me but don't. AH yes I love that. And I wish my life was a drama filled degrassi episode. SO I wouldn't be oh so boring. 50 days kids till i turn 21 and i want you all to get me something fabulous...But a Happy Birthday Madame will suffice.

Love always,
XOXOXOXOXOX
MaDaMe MeDiOcRe <- how cool

Overwhelmed, and eating Oreos to cope

Baaaah! So. That is how i would like to start this post off. Yes baaaah, not so much a sheep baaaah but a screaming sort of agony baaah. Now how are you my little readers and wanders of the blogging world? Oh fantastic. Seeing as noone reads this, but what do I care. As many know I have started back at school. It's my third week so far and things to be going well. Minus my english class learning about plural possessives. Ugh. Seriously who cares where I put my apostrophe? Evidently it matters. But since I don't even get the time to write why should I care where I shove an apostrophe? I will tell you plenty of places I wouldn't mind shoving it...

That's enough outta you madame, you're making the children squeemish. Now, whomever made TV shows that makes life look oh so wonderful and easy without cares or finiances or cancerous parents in the world are full of shit and I would like to sue them all for corrupting my brain with such nonsense that life could ever be as flipping wonderful as they put on tv. Maybe I will just sue Hollywood. Craig Fergusen would be all up on my side.

I'm just ranting because I have a lot on my plate right now, and my appitite is rather diminished for I have already had one helping =] . Now, readers, friends, family, strangers, aliens, or anyone who reads... Please give me a list of coping techniques that don't require anything of the oreo nature or guns. That is your task.

Love always,
Madame Mediocre...Not to be confused with madame degrassi who wrote kinky vampire stories about Declan.